Boundaries! Need Them, Learn Them, Speak Them!

A boundary is a limit of a subject or sphere of activity. Boundaries are incredibly important for many reasons, they are what alerts us when something has gone too far. Under the relationship umbrella, boundaries will make or break any relationship! If you don’t think you have any boundaries… well, see the next bit.

Know your boundaries!

Seriously, do you know where the “so-to-speak” line is? If not, how will you know what your limits are in life? It is so important to understand your personal boundaries in life and everything that you do. For an example, in the dating world, I can not stand when a guy doesn’t read books. If he doesn’t I will not date him. Additionally, if a guy doesn’t know how to do his own laundry, I am out. Know your boundaries!

What do you do when someone crosses a boundary?

Take IMMEDIATE ACTION!

Now that you know where to draw the line in the sand, what on earth do you do when someone crosses it? You call them out! Not in a malicious or harsh manner, but you definitely let them know a line or boundary has been crossed. You want to be direct and eliminate any emotional tone so that the other party will hear you and not react to you.

For an example, I have an amazing friend who had a guy pursuing her. She learned that he was always high around her (from smoking pot). She didn’t get upset with him, she knew that was his choice and she shouldn’t change him or judge him. Instead, she told him that smoking pot isn’t something that she agrees with, and it is okay if it something that he chooses to do. However, moving forward she recommended that they just be friends. Pretty eloquently done, eh?

Nervous letting someone know they crossed a line? 

To up your conversation game to make all of your crucial conversations more fierce with other people, I highly recommend reading these books:

  • Crucial Conversations
  • Fierce Conversations

TRUST ME when I say this, it is so important to protect your lines in the sand. IT IS SO IMPORTANT! Your happiness is at stake! If you do not “stand up for yourself” and speak your limits to the offender, people will constantly cross that line and it will wear you down. You are too amazing of a person to let your light be dimmed. Shine brightly and know yourself, own it and defend it!

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