Why was Peter so pivotal in Wendy’s life?
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Wendy didn’t just decide to go down a different path mentally and physically in life because she met a guy. She was not that kind of girl anymore and was in a solid relationship with herself. Although, to some extent, she did do just that because of a guy she met. (That will be a different post, coming soon- be sure to subscribe so you DON’T MISS IT)!
Wendy dated a guy long term, who doesn’t even deserve to be named, but let’s call him Voldemort. He was awful- but not at first. A master manipulator and narcissistic person, he was charismatic and did everything right to make Wendy fall head over heels. Wendy’s fatal flaw is she truly believes people are all good. How naive as hindsight is 20-20. She should’ve have gotten to learn who he truly was before committing with such strong emotions.
Can you truly know a person completely? To this day, I personally don’t know that answer. After four years, Wendy felt like how could she not know him, but Wendy was so wrong.
Voldemort was a drinker, abused drugs, and was the life of the party. Everyone seemed loved him. Behind closed doors, he was lazy, dirty, couldn’t or wouldn’t plan anything romantic or thoughtful for Wendy. Emotional, physical, verbal and financial abuse was his love language. Wendy never understood how rape could happen between a boyfriend and girlfriend or a husband, and wife, but it does and she can see how it is absolutely possible. He constantly had his frat brothers over to party to their apartment that Wendy and he shared. It always unannounced to her and bringing drugs into their “home.” Voldemort did not show respect to Wendy at all and wasn’t ever going to, but Wendy could not see that when she was so delusionally blinded by what she thought was love, what she felt she deserved. He really MESSED HER UP. #METOO
Wendy had become his roommate that he hated and she did not see it that clearly being in the center of the fire. He had led her on to believe that they still had forever and that she was his only one which made Wendy hang on. His words did not match his actions- at all.
Still blindly in love, she held on to that early, and perfect part of their relationship. She was living in a delusion. Love will do that to you, blind you. It got to the point she couldn’t believe half of what he preached to me, but social media reminded me of those perfect moments we had shared through some throwback photos and memories.
They were together for almost four years still trying to be together. It was Thanksgiving Week. He had promised that they were going to go to my Family this year to visit the weekend after Thanksgiving. He still got the Thanksgiving day to go and visit his family. My family lived 4 hours away, so that is the arrangement we made so we can see everyone we loved.
Voldemort invited his evil cousin and they made Thanksgiving a douchebaggery of a nightmare. Partying and getting fucked up was his Thanksgiving plans, and she was literally ditched by him, ignored, or just off to the side. Wendy felt guilty as she wished she had decided to just drive home and not spend the holiday with him.
They had laid down to go to sleep when Wendy woke up maybe 45 minutes later. She thought she had heard something. Voldemort was NOT in our bed, or in the house- at all. With the car gone, she texted him to see where THE FUCK he was. He had never just disappeared in the middle of the night before. He had snuck out to go to the bars with this cousin and friends, without me. What did she do for him to leave me out and sneak out of the house like she was his mother? All of this was entirely way too confusing! Wendy was furious and hurt and she could not decide on what to do, so she did nothing.
This was the worse holiday season ever in Wendy’s life. Her life completely changed. Wendy and her awful boyfriend took her to Mexico. He made paradise a living hell. He picked fights with her on the car ride to the airport in front of their friends. He threatened to hurt her on the plan because her leg bumped into his. At this point, Wendy thought he was insane. His leg was clearly far over on her side as Wendy’s body was completely closed off to him and leaning into the side of the plane and the window. Her body language was clear, she wanted nothing to do with him. Wendy laughed in his face saying he was acting crazy. This time, she could clearly see she wasn’t doing anything wrong as he always seemed to claim.
He told her that her ass would be grass if she didn’t get her act together.
WHAT THE FUCK, Wendy thought. What does that even mean? His tone was threatening and it sent chills up her spine. She didn’t recognize him anymore. Who was this hateful person?
As cool as she was acting a second ago, that laugh was clearly a cover-up for the emotion that was boiling up inside her. She felt like she would cry. The plane was about to land, and she couldn’t get off the plane fast enough. She did not, could not make eye contact with him. She found her friend Stephanie and shared with her that things were not OKAY with her and the person who should not be named. She didn’t seem to understand the weight of the situation but consoled her friend.
HE RUINED PARADISE. At dinner that evening he got belligerently drunk and called the waiter the n-word. She was horrified and felt so trapped in a place she thought she wanted to be in. His friends were even appalled and were questioning what on earth was happening. It was an inexcusable and repulsive moment.
HE RUINED PARADISE by always flirting and complimenting the girls around Wendy. Did he not take her with him, were they not in a relationship? Would he ever act like he was again? What was he not telling her? She had no idea where he was in his thoughts.
HE RUINED PARADISE. They walked to the beach together and he told her he was going to get a drink and would be back. One hour later, she realized he wasn’t returning and tried to get into the hotel room only to be locked out.
Apparently, paradise and hell can sometimes be found in the same place at the same time.
Home from “paradise” and on the car ride home from the airport he invited his frat brother to come to spend the night that very night. Wendy had absolutely no more energy to ask him why he was inviting someone over when she was tired and wanted a quiet night. She lived there too and she knew he knew how she would feel, so she held her breath and did not give that fuck up to him. She had no more fucks to give. NONE.
The three of them had dinner at B.J.’s. He constantly was poking mean and violent fun to Wendy. When his friend would somewhat defend Wendy questioning what was really going on, Voldemort would just dismiss his behavior by saying he was joking. When they were leaving and scooting out of the half-circular booth. Wendy accidentally sat on Voldemorts thumb.
FOR FUCK SAKES, you would have thought that his thumb was severed off with a spoon. It was an accident and Wendy tried to apologize to him, but this happened instead…
He called her a BITCH loud enough for most surrounding people to hear. Wendy’s eyes welled up and she hated him. How could he do this to her? Why was he still willingly telling her he loves her and wants to be with her? Why could she not leave herself?
He had broken her down, one insult at a time. One argument at a time, one slap at a time. He crushed her confidence until it crumbled and she couldn’t even think for herself anymore. The independent self-made Wendy was gone and now she was a broken co-dependent woman to a loser who treated her worse than shit.
Read The Emotionally Abused Woman for a deeper insight as to these kinds of situations and how to avoid them!
The night ended, and Wendy kept a straight face and went to bed. She had work in the morning and she felt so uneasy all day. She decided to go home for lunch.
Wendy went home to what was her boyfriend of four years, was now apparently her ex-boyfriend in the process of moving out without telling her with the help of his dad. You think that usually is a conversation after four years of being together. However, he would not have any conversation with Wendy. He told her he never loved her and he hated being around her. SHE was holding him back and he wanted to live a “bachelor” life and was moving to Austin to work for his cousin. He physically pushed her out of the way and kept grabbing his belongings and packing. Wendy sobbed. She expected some dialect, some kind of closure. Pain from her heart and all the way down to her gut radiated.
Is this what death feels like, Wendy thought.
Standing upright was not an option, her stomach did not allow her. She laid on the ground in a fetal position sobbing, asking for him to just stop and talk. He did not care, he kept ignoring the girl on the ground that was having her heart and soul crushed. Wendy was realizing just how little he actually liked her let alone did he ever love her. Wendy was telling him he can still leave, but just to say something and have a conversation with her before he did.
Wendy watched him walk in and out of the apartment until he didn’t anymore. He had moved out before her eyes and he was gone. At this point, she had become a part of the carpeted floor and felt like everything in her was broken and couldn’t understand how much her life had just changed or how to get up to continue on. What she knew as her life for four years was over, dead.
Wendy’s life was his life, he made sure it revolved around him. Now, He was gone. Wendy had no more life and panic flooded into Wendy’s world. Where would she turn to when she really needed the support? She new should, could and would get through this, but she knew it would be a long road. Wendy told herself how strong she was and she kept telling herself how excited she was for the day she would feel okay again.
Wendy then spent 3 years of hard fucking work to pick herself up out of the grave she felt she was thrown into. Believe me, she almost did not make it at many moments in time, but she did. She made a life for herself and found her a best friend she will keep for the rest of her life. Wendy didn’t lose her job, she excelled and got promoted multiple times that landed her in Atlanta. Wendy never gave up and she still fights every day for a life worth living, a life with meaning. She is light years away from the depressed ball of sadness she was when he ex-left her crying on the living room floor.
She built herself up to a place she has never been. Wendy loves loving herself and truly looking up to the person she is becoming. She is a work in progress, and that is what makes this journey so much fun. Wendy strives to be her own version Wonder Woman as she has been her role model to keep her pushing and being bigger than she was yesterday. Out of the ashes of struggle, hurt and being broken, Wendy sees herself as her own Wonder Woman, and she keeps looking to making herself an even better version of herself by helping others. Every day, choose something that you will work on and be kind to others. This is life and we are in this together!
So, again, why was Peter such a pivotal person in Wendy’s life?
This journey that Wendy has been on because of this life-altering moment in her life is exactly why Peter was so GRAND in Wendy’s life. He really was a catalyst for her mission to love herself and loving life without faking it. Wendy is truly grateful for the impact he made on her and what life he brought to hers and will always hold a special place in her heart. He came into her life to give her life and show her how to live one.
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